The Whole Hog

Top Chef 4, Episode 13
Part 2 - Elimination!

Okay, party's over. Back to business. The finalists arrive at La Fortaleza, a beautiful old fort that serves as governor's mansion for the country. The next night, the chefs will be cooking for a garden party here, which will include over 100 VIPS. Tom says in Puerto Rico, it's just not a party without a pig, and then unveils a dead piglet on a large serving table. Each of the chefs will have a pig of his very own to use as he pleases to make his meals. Antonia starts having flashbacks to the first episode, when living was easy and challenges meant making pizza. I'm right there with you.
Then we learn what Steph's quickfire win gets her. The chefs will each have a sous chef from previous contestants, and we see Dale, Andrew, Nikki and Spike come on the scene. Steph gets to pair up the chefs for the next challenge. Of course, she's going to be a little piggy here and choose the most talented castoff, Dale, for herself. (Actually they're old friends.) She puts Spike and Richard together, and teams Antonia with Nikki. That leaves Lisa with Andrew, the guy she threw under the bus a couple of challenges back. Andrew says he's not one to seek revenge. In a pig's eye!

The chefs will butcher their Wilbur (TM Steph) while the sous chefs shop. (Is anyone else thinking "This little piggy went to market"? Just me? Okay, then.) Andrew encounters a bit of a language barrier at the market. Dale grabs black plantains, because it's the fruit of the day, apparently. Back at the fort, Richard recalls a malt beverage a childhood friend used to drink which he thought would make a good rib glaze, so he calls Spike to order a six-pack of Maltas.
As the chefs create, the conversation turns to Lisa. Richard says it's like a dark cloud is in the kitchen. She just brings everyone down. Do you think she'll ever warm up? When pigs fly! (Okay, I'll stop. Really.)

After prep time is over, everyone jockeys for position in the fridge, and somehow Dale leaves Stephanie's pork belly out. (Well, her pig's belly. You know what I mean!) He notices it immediately the next morning, but too late. Fortunately, Steph keeps her head, though Dale apologizes like crazy. She just throws the whole thing out, not wanting to chance food poisoning at the party. Smart girl.

Okay, the menus: Richard dishes up pork belly with pickled watermelon, barbecued pork shoulder, ribs with the Malta glaze and ham and beans. Lisa serves yuca and prok rellena, adobo roasted pork tostone, and citrus pork belly. Antonia has pork belly, too, hers with sweet peppers. She also made sausage with pigeon peas and curried pork. Stephanie, alas, has no pork belly, but does come on strong with pork satay on sugar cane, coconut pork with the ever-popular plantain pancake, and chicharrones, fruit and prosciutto salad. (Chicharrones is another name for fried pig skin, which actually sounds pretty tasty.)

As the judges deliberate, the chefs review, Richard thinks he's in; Antonia frets about undercooked peas. Then Padma calls in the top two and, to no one's surprise, it's Stephanie and Richard. The two of them seem thrilled as the judges praise them. Wilo then announces Richard won in an unanimous decision, and his prize is a 2009 Corolla. "Holy smokes," says the guy with the electric smoker, who seems a bit speechless at his windfall.

Then Lisa and Antonia go to meet their fate. Gail tells Lisa her plantain puree was way too sweet and her dishes focused more on garnish than on the pig. Antonia fesses up to the undercooked peas, saying she prefers them al dente. Not going to work this time! The judges debate while the chefs wait, then Antonia gets knifed. Lisa looks shocked and promises the judges won't be disappointed next time.

But her humility doesn't last long. Lisa gives Steph and Richard attitude for not congratulating her (though I didn't see her congratulate them, did you?) Steph says, "Sorry. Congratulations," in the most unconvicted voice imaginable. Then Richard says off camera, "You won the f-ing bronze medal, congratulations. There you go," which may become this season's "I'm not your bitch, bitch."

And that's it until the finals, when Lisa vows revenge, Richard feels entitled, and Steph wins. Okay, that was wishful thinking....we'll have to wait until next Wednesday to see how close I come.

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